Who Wants My Money? - Humor - Column

So what if Larry Ellison dropped out of college -- twice? The Oracle CEO could still give graduate seminars in the art of high-profile chest-thumping. His latest demonstration came earlier this month when Ellison let it be known that he plans to give $150 million to either Harvard or Stanford for a research center devoted to politics, economics and technology. But which school gets the dough depends at least in part on its school's ability to cozy up to Ellison. As the games began, we listened to -- and translated -- some of what's being said:

Larry Ellison: "It's one or the other. There are very few schools that have good schools of engineering, good schools of economics and good schools of political science."

Translation: "All right you pointy-headed brainiac weenies, who wants it?"

Andy Tiedemann, director of development communications at Harvard: "The issues go beyond engineering and include law, business, government and science. All of those areas are strengths of Harvard's."

Translation: "We've been here for 365 years. We do it all. Go with the established brand."

John Ford, Stanford's VP for development: "They don't have technology. They don't have Sand Hill Road. They don't have some of the things that made [Ellison's] company successful."

Translation: "Harvard? Are you kidding? They still use typewriters!"

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