Weddings By the Book - Brief Article

Black couples can choose from at least a half-dozen guides to plan their nuptials

Traversing the labyrinth between "Will you Marry me" and "I do" is a rite of passage every betrothed couple encounters on the way to "happily ever after." Whether a simple ceremony in chambers or an elaborate affair for hundreds, there is no one right way to wed, and options for cultural expressions for African Americans are virtually unlimited.

Some will look to the motherland for inspiration with just a touch of African fabric or a full immersion into the traditions and styles of African-centered ceremonies. Others may prefer to wed in the Western tradition. Whatever the preference, the authors presented here offer timely guidance to help couples handle the details and locate the goods and services they will need to pull it off with panache.

Harriette Cole's Jumping the Broom (Henry Holt, 1993) was the first guide of its kind. It quickly became a bestseller drawing rave reviews. As gorgeous as it is, filled with elaborately styled photos and artistic illustrations reminiscent of Essence, it is also a compact reference not only to wedding planning but also to African American customs and traditions. In keeping with the title, Cole examines the increasingly popular and somewhat controversial "jumping the broom" ceremony and the less popular and apparently unchallenged crossing of sticks. There are those who assert that jumping the broom is not an African American custom, but a custom created by white Americans to patronize enslaved Africans who wished or were made to marry. Others insist the custom evolved from the symbolic significance of the broom in the cultures of enslaved Africans in America--that it sweeps away negative energy to bring clarity and order, and that it represents a willingness on the bride's part to contribute as a new member of the groom's family.

Two years later, when the paperback with an expanded resource guide was issued, Cole added the Jumping the Broom Wedding Workbook: A Step-by-Step Write-in Guide for Planning the Perfect African-American Wedding (Henry Holt, 1995). The equally beautiful workbook that doubles as a keepsake journal is a complete enough guide to stand on its own, but it serves best as a companion for those who want to include and understand the meaning of African and African American traditions in their wedding.

Yet another two-volume set, Going to the Chapel: From Traditional to African Inspired, and Everything in Between--the Ultimate Wedding Guide for Today's Black Couple (Putnam, 1998) and Going to the Chapel Planner (Berkley, 1999) from the editors of Signature Bride magazine with Linnyette Richardson-Hall is by far the most complete package on the market. No wonder, since Richardson-Hall is a former president of the Association of Minority Wedding Professionals. This is their territory, and they cover every inch of it exquisitely with detailed guidance, plenty of photographs and a resource guide.

The only thing Jumping the Broom Wedding Workbook has over the Going to the Chapel Planner is the spiral, lay-flat binding. A write-in workbook should fit not only form, but also function. This workbook needs a cookbook weight to keep it open. A reissue with a lay-flat binding would make this the best keepsake planner on the market.

According to Royal African Wedding & Marriage Ceremony: A Guide by King, Kwabena F. Ashanti (Tone Books, 2000), jumping the broom is an insult that brings dishonor to African ancestors. "Jumping the broom is just plain wrong. In reality, it symbolizes a very foul period [slavery] in our history here in America," writes Ashanti. "I believe however, that Harriette Cole, in her otherwise excellent wedding planner, actually intended to encourage this broom jumping rite as an honor to our enslaved ancestors."

After the first four chapters, in which Ashanti addresses Afrocentric concepts and consciousness, Royal African Wedding provides a model of an Akan wedding ceremony known as the Royal Anoka (mouth-touching) Marriage including all steps from purification and orientation rites for the bride-to-be through the honeymoon. This book, though too brief to take readers step-by-step through the planning stages, is a valuable source for anyone who desires an authentically West African wedding.

Tamara Nikuradse has compiled a remarkably well-researched source of affirmations, love letters, scripture, poetry and prose from celebrated writers, past and present, throughout the African Diaspora in African American Wedding Readings (Plume, 1998). Nikuradse describes her book as a collection that goes "beyond the traditional Western concept of romantic love to a more spiritual level of love that is nurtured and refined through years of turmoil and bliss."

A wellspring of loving language, Haki Madhubuti's, HeartLove: Wedding and Love Poems (Third World, 1998) is a collection drawn solely from Madhubuti's poetry and prose created to capture and celebrate the essence of love in marriage and family. There are also words of counsel lest one forget that the way of love is often painful and trying. There is a poetic script for the minister, bride and groom, the maid of honor and the best man in which these words appear, "rise with the wisdom of grandmothers, rise understanding that creation is on-going, immensely appealing and acceptable to fools and geniuses, and those of us in between."

For that all-important bridal shower, Put Soul in your Bridal Shower: The African American Bridal Shower Book by Tonya D. Evans (Picasso Publications, 2000) offers a comprehensive and entertaining approach to planning the theme, food, games and gifts needed to create a uniquely African American affair. The "Soul Food Recipe Shower" pairs delightfully with "Soul Food Scrabble," and there's more where that came from, with more than twenty themes and corresponding gift and games including the "Family Roots Shower" and the "My Sistah Loves Books Shower."

As is all too often the case with African American interest titles, there is one last wedding planner worth mentioning that is no longer in print according to sources at Crown Publishing Group. The Nubian Wedding Book: Words and Rituals to Celebrate and Plan an African-American Wedding, by Ingrid Sturgis. As Sturgis writes in her introduction, "There is still a wealth of information about mating and marriage rituals among people of African descent that has yet to be fully uncovered." African American booksellers, libraries and online sources may still have a few copies for those who agree that we "hunger for more details about our African, Caribbean and African American heritages".

COPYRIGHT 2001 Cox, Matthews & Associates
COPYRIGHT 2001 Gale Group