EXAM STRESS COMES DOWN HARD.. ON THE PARENT

RECORD numbers of Scots parents are suffering from stress - brought on by their children's exams.

While pupils face tests of their academic ability, mums and dads are having their anxiety levels tested to the limit.

Experts say the pressure of wanting their offspring to do well in Standard Grade and Higher exams has reached "epidemic" proportions.

Last week, while pupils did "prelims", helplines and support centres were flooded with calls from parents seeking advice on how to cope with their own stress.

Jill Hamilton, helpline manager of parental support service Parentline Scotland, said the number of such callers had risen dramatically since the service was introduced five years ago.

"January and May, when youngsters are sitting prelims and final exams, are difficult months for parents, " she said. "The main problem we find is that they are anxious about getting the balance right of putting pressure on their children to revise.

"It boils down to the fact that they have high expectations and want their children to do well. It can hurt to see someone who has potential just not putting in the effort, especially if the child has had good grades in the past but seems to have lost momentum."

Angry confrontations, mood swings and tantrums are all common symptoms of exam pressure - afflicting both pupils and parents. "The mood swings can also be difficult for parents to take," said Hamilton. "Children can lash out at their parents if the pressure is getting to them."

"We tell parents that in such situations, the shouting is not necessarily directed at them."

Steven Duggan, director of student support at Aberdeen University, said he had seen a marked increase over the last 12 months in the number of calls from parents seeking assistance ahead of exam time.

"It seems more people are coming forward to speak to someone if they are concerned about exams and the tension they create," he said. "Parents phone us because they don't know who to turn to and are genuinely worried and want to do their best to help their children. They're stressed out."

Experts say the best way for parents to cope with their own stress is to be reassuring, helpful and, above all, encouraging.

And they urge parents to seek help from an expert. "There are a number of sources for young people to get help on dealing with exam stress," said Hamilton. "This is less so for adults. But that's where people like us can help."

She added: "One of the best ways to help is to be flexible and help in whatever way possible - for example by taking their side of any chores to be done around the house.

"There are very few things in life you only get one chance at, and exams aren't necessarily one of them. Encourage your child to do the best they can, and if they deliver that, it's really all you can ask for."

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