ALL THE NICE GIRLS WANT TO BE ARISTOSLUTS

lexandra writhed on the bed, hands tied above her head, begging her lover for more. Henry obliged, slapping her across the face and calling her "tart" and "whore".

"It was the first truly satisfying sexual experience of my life," says Alexandra. "The feeling of being totally dominated was just incredible."

Alexandra is an aristoslut.

Her father is stinking rich. Her mother cares more about her horses than her daughter.

And she gets her kicks from being humiliated - like hundreds of other girls from wealthy families, according to sex therapist Anne Hooper.

"Humiliation rituals are particularly common in the upper classes," says Ms Hooper.

"Ask a psychotherapist whether they would rather have middle or upper-class clients and most of them will say, 'Give me a middle- class person to treat any day'.

"It's the aristocrats who keep sex therapists busy."

Alexandra was just nine years old when she was packed off to boarding school. At 16 she lost her virginity "to prove to the other girls I was better than them".

At 18 she was living in London, in a flat paid for by her father's "guilt money" - taking drugs and getting drunk. And by the time she was 30 she had bedded more than 40 men. "It made me feel powerful to know how easily I could lure them home from parties," says Alexandra, now 32.

"But the morning after I was full of self-loathing. I just wanted to get rid of them as quickly as possible, so none of them ever lasted long."

This feeling is not uncommon among Alexandra and others like her, according to Ms Hooper.

"With these sorts of women very often the one thing that really works for them in life is sex. It is their one source of power.

"They tend to form many sexual relationships, even if they are only short- term. "They feel empowered because someone finds them attractive enough to want to go to bed with them.

"One wealthy client I counselled literally found herself hooked on sex. It became like an addiction. Every time she had sex she would feel important again. Without it she felt lost. Another client from an aristocratic family had a father who constantly told her she was useless.

"She spent her whole life feeling she was a failure. She became extremely promiscuous as a way of winning power that she had never had. She felt that if all these men wanted to have sex with her then she couldn't be such a disgusting person."

Two years ago, Alexandra met Henry. The sleeping around stopped, but the kinky sex started.

"I never expected anything to come of it in the long term, but that first night he suggested playing a sort of sexual game," she says. "It really turned him on to be rough in bed and he wanted me to act all submissive.

"I had never been sexually submissive and the idea appalled me at first, but I agreed. I always agreed to anything in those days. The feeling was incredible. The guilt just ebbed away because I had relinquished all responsibility. I just kept thinking that it wasn't my fault - I could relax and enjoy it.

"By the end I was begging for more. And Henry said it was the best sex he had ever had."

They began to meet on a regular basis...and experiment even more.

"Henry would slap me or tie me up and tell me I had been naughty and he was going to punish me," says Alexandra.

"I suppose in some way it goes back to the way my father used to punish me as a child. I found sex much more pleasurable when it was only a game.

"Sometimes Henry and I would dress up...me as a prostitute, him as a policeman, or me as a schoolgirl and him as a headmaster. He would put me over his knee to discipline me.

"But it was his language that really turned me on. When he started calling me a tart and a whore and a bitch it drove me wild.

"It was like I was admitting what I was like and it didn't matter. I suppose it might seem as though there is something a bit sinister about it. But, after all, it is only a game, kept between us.

"We have a codeword which means 'Stop', so if it ever gets out of control we can just end the role play.

"It is all based on trust and that is important in a relationship - it gives us a closeness I have never found with anyone else.

"I don't know what I would do if Henry and I ever split up."

Guilt-ridden Fergie's hooker fantasy

The Duchess of York has the typical sexual hang-ups that can result from being trapped in an isolated aristocratic family.

She begged lover John Bryan to "treat me like a tart" because in her guilt-ridden world she was a prostitute from the gutter, says sex therapist Anne Hooper. "Being called a slut and a tart in bed served to confirm what Fergie believed about herself

"If, in Fergie's fantasy world she was simply a low-class prostitute, then this would balance the reality of her high-class position in life." Fergie was in a downward spiral of low self- esteem, says Ms Hooper. "Having sex with different men made her feel as though she had some worth - but the morning after she was left feeling even more worthless.

"My advice to the Duchess would be to let men pursue her and not to throw herself at them. Next time she feels herself falling head over heels, she ought to take a deep breath and count slowly to ten."

Why Sophie can't keep her clothes on

Sophie Buchan-Watt is a member of one of Scotland's foremost aristocratic families.

Her cousins are Scottish Office Minister Lord James Douglas- Hamilton and Angus, Duke of Hamilton. The late 10th Earl of Selkirk was her great uncle.

She earns her living having banknotes stuffed into her g- string... as a stripper in New York. Sophie, 27, blames her traumatic childhood - her mother had a disastrous marriage - for her introduction to the seedy side of life.

Now, after being cut out of her godfather's will when he discovered what she was up to, she says she needs the money.

She says she has suffered both mental and physical abuse by men throughout her life - and that she has attempted suicide three times.

"I do feel vulnerable up there on stage," she says. "You are very exposed to the audience."

But she admits: "Stripping is power. It is also an addiction, like alcohol."

Copyright 1996 MGN LTD
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