The day Pete got bogged down and met my husband!

pounds 100My husband is a vehicle inspector and comes into contact with so many people that it has become a long-standing joke in our family that we can't go anywhere without bumping into someone he knows.

On holiday in Ireland recently, we were miles from anywhere when we came across a man sitting on a tractor working a field. "That's Pete," exclaimed my husband.

"You can't possibly know him," I said in disbelief.

"Not him," replied my husband, "the stuff in the trailer." - Mrs. S. Burton, Rochdale, Lancs.

Ouch! Any other classic misunderstandings, ladies and gents?

pounds 5My wife cooked a slap-up meal for friends who were due to visit, but they had to cry off at short notice.

Rather than waste the food, she phoned our student daughter, who shares a flat with three friends. They were delighted with the offer of the meal, so my wife took it round to them.

When she returned later, she said they'd asked her to join them. She said she'd enjoyed the company, but wasn't too thrilled about having to wash the dishes.

I suggested she should have eaten and left, but she said: "No dear, I had to wash the dishes before we could eat." - David McMillan, Methuen Castle, Perth.

Yuk! In MY bachelor days we collected three months of milk bottles - with the milk still in 'em!

pounds 5THE Sunday Mirror reported last week that British hospitals need 18,000 more nurses, yet I find it hard to get a job as an assistant psychiatric nurse. I have 20 years experience but I am told that at 43 I am too old for the NHS, so I have to work in the private areas of mental health.

The NHS won't ever improve until it's ready to keep older experienced staff. - John Sturman, Enfield, Middlesex.

Were YOU told you were too old at a ridiculous age? Drop me a line.

pounds 5Whatever happened to Zero Tolerance of crime, talked about so much during the General Election?

There seems little hope of its success when we see a lout like Liam Gallagher given just another slap on the wrist for his recent "road rage" offence.

It isn't long since the Oasis star was given another caution for possession of cocaine. Would a jail sentence have interfered with his group's forthcoming tour? - John F. Egan, Germany.

Cheer up...at least HE didn't get a drink at the Downing St party!

pounds 5Looking around the local job centre I was surprised to see so many vacancies. Perhaps the unemployed are work-shy after all, I thought. Not so. On closer inspection, I could see that the majority of these "vacancies" had been placed by unscrupulous employers expecting to pay pounds 2 (and sometimes less) for a 40-hour-plus working week.

Is it any wonder the jobless won't take these jobs?

The sooner the Government stand by their pledge and introduce a minimum wage the better.

Contrary to the privileged Tory view, a fair minimum wage will not lengthen the dole queue, it will reduce it.

If companies complain about extra costs, then all they have to do is cut their vastly- inflated profit margins. - Ann Harris, Gravesend, Kent.

Agreed, Ann. Exploiting the weak for profit is immoral and should be made illegal.

pounds 5NO wonder so many young people have anorexia. I went into one clothes shop aimed at young teenagers, and I thought I'd walked into a toy shop. The clothes were so tiny even allowing for the stretch quality of Lycra.

I asked my 17-year-old step- daughter whether all her friends fit these clothes and she said one of her larger friends (size 12!) won't shop with the other girls because she's too embarrassed. Enough said! - Julie Kenwright, Coventry.

Come shopping with me...you'll feel (and look) as skinny as Kate Moss!

pounds 5As a single person I am sick and tired of being treated like a second- class citizen. People like myself always have to pay extra in the form of single room supplements when on holiday, assuming that you can find a suitable room in the first place.

We get less in the way of tax allowance, and pay the same water rates as a family - even though there may be three or four wage earners in that family.

To cap it all, if I want bargains I have to buy three of everything at supermarkets which seem to cater for couples and families. - Mr. D. Mills, Kirkdale, Merseyside.

That's the price you singles pay for freedom, sir...think of it as a "Get Out Of Jail Almost Free" card!

JUMBO THANKS

As founder of Friends of the Asian Elephant, I would like to send my greatest gratitude to all your readers who have helped raise funds for the Hang Chat Elephant Hospital in Lampang, Thailand. Your donations - pounds 5,545 to date - will help save our elephants from a miserable death, and I cannot thank you enough for all your support. - Soraida Salwala, Bangkok, Thailand.

Our pleasure...from Britain's most generous readers!

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