CRETE EXPECTATIONS

Fed up with sneers and sly comments because you happen to be a Brit abroad?

Take a trip to Crete instead and you will find the friendliest welcome you have ever had away from these shores.

Steeped in history - and pre-history this beautiful, romantic, happy island will give you a break from those grey British skies that you will never forget.

I took my memorable trip with Greek specialists Kosmar Holidays, who have a genuine feel for Greece.

Just to test them, the baggage handlers at Gatwick decided not to put my luggage on the plane out. It was no problem - the Kosmar rep made sure we were reunited as soon as humanly possible.

As I am pushing 30 I decided I was past it as far as other places like rave-capital Ibiza was con-cerned.

But that's not to say I'm too old to enjoy a great night out on the town partying.

I just need some delightful scenery and people to recover with the next morning.

That's why Chania - a poetic town in Crete - was perfect for me. It's a resort with something for everyone.

It has every-thing - scenery, culture, shopping, nearby beach life, architecture, night-life, history - and most of all that special Cretan welcome.

As one local told us: "Your blood is here. You are always welcome" - a reference to the Second World War when British troops gave their lives fighting alongside Greeks.

Chania is a hit simply because it has mastered the problem that spoils many tourism hot-spots.

It is sophisticated enough to cater for tourists but has not sacrificed itself to the god of foreign currency.

Just take a stroll behind the attractive shops lining the harbour - you feel you're stepping into a world where the 20th Century does not intrude. But if you want to explore the island more thoroughly an ideal base would be Aghios Nikolaos.

Aghios Nikolaos - known affectionately to many Brits as "Ag Nik" - is just a short trip from all the sights of Crete, including Knossos.

And if you want to find a place with an incredible 3,000 years of history the famous Palace of Knossos - the home of the Minotaur - should be your first stop. It may be difficult, since the palace was controversially reconstructed, to actually imagine just how this cradle of Minoan civilisation did appear.

But even the most cynical visitor could not deny being in the presence of the ancients.

And if you fancy a longer overnight trip, you should try Makriyalos.

If you really want "to get away from it all" look no further.

This charming fishing village offers spiritual peace - and great fulfilment for your tummy!

Olives the size of tomatoes, tomatoes the size of grapefruits all washed down dangerously with the Greek's equivalent of a lethal home- brew - Raki.

Crete is said to be the birthplace of Zeus, the King of the Gods. It certainly gives you a right royal welcome.

My only regret is the Channel Tunnel does not come out in Chania.

If you are in the money, you could give yourself a real treat and stay at the St Nicolas Bay Hotel in Ag Nik.

This superb bungalow complex is a haven of tranquility.

Pay a visit and you could end up being treated like a god yourself.

FACT FILE

Kosmar (tel: 0181 368 6833/6807) are offering one week self- catering at the Ekavi studios and apartments in Aghia Marina, from pounds 239 per person. A week's car hire costs from pounds 189. A one- week B&B or self-catering Kosmar package to Aghios Nikolaos costs from pounds 199, with jeep hire for a week from pounds 289. Flights from Gatwick, Manchester, Newcastle, East Midlands and Bristol. Further information: Greek Tourist Office, 4 Conduit St., London W1 (0171 734 5997).

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