Remote retreats

I RECENTLY returned from a pilgrimage where I came upon a travesty.

Uncle Monty's Cumbrian cottage in the stunning Lake District is in danger of demolition. For those unacquainted, Uncle Monty's countryside getaway is the leading location in the cult 1987 British film Withnail and I.

It was 18 years ago that writer and director Bruce Robinson began filming Richard E Grant (Withnail) and Paul McGann (I) as two struggling and spaced-out actors who decide to escape the squalor of their 1969 Camden flat.

"We are drifting into the arena of the unwell. What we need is harmony, fresh air and stuff like that," says Withnail.

Harmony, they decide, is a visit to the remote Cumbrian retreat of Withnail's ruddy, rotund and outrageously camp Uncle Monty (Richard Griffiths).

It is known as Crow Crag in the film but is actually a derelict farmhouse called Sleddale Hall, with magnificent views of Wet Sleddale reservoir, 12 miles south of Penrith. Rather excitingly, I discovered on my recent trip that the hall is owned by United Utilities and is, say locals, "open to offers". To experience the utter joy of inviting friends to "Uncle Monty's for the weekend" would cost you about Pounds 180,000, plus more than Pounds 100,000 to renovate the property.

However, there is a stumbling block. United Utilities wants planning permission granted by the National Park Authority in order to gain maximum profit from the building. A United Utilities spokesperson said: "We continue to explore all options open to us for the future of Sleddale Hall."

Locals also say that United Utilities does not really want to sell it to Withnail fans, fearful that thousands of visitors will spoil the beauty spot.

In the meantime, Uncle Monty's is falling into such a state of disrepair that it may soon have to be demolished.

Like many Londoners, swapping urban foppery for rural foraging didn't come easy for Withnail and I. But in the aftermath of a sodden August and with the promise of a sunny September, the relaxation of a trip to the Lake District and a walk to Uncle Monty's cottage is an enjoyable prospect.

To find Uncle Monty's, take the lane out of the village of Shap (M6, junction 39) and park by the dam at Wet Sleddale reservoir. The property is a dot on the hillside across choppy waters.

You can almost hear Monty's voice drifting on the wind as he reminisces about "sensitive crimes in a punt with Norman, who had a book of poetry stained with butter drips from crumpets".

Crow Crag is an hour's walk around the reservoir, past cows that stop munching to stare, mossy dry-stone walls and untouched fields. You can cross the ancient bridge where Withnail attempted fishing with a shotgun.

From here it's a steep climb and halfway up is Uncle Monty's dilapidated cottage, complete with a stream running by. The fresh air, peace, views and solitude are quite overwhelming.

For hardened Withnail fans this is just the start of the tour. The bull scene was shot on a footpath that leaves the narrow road between Shap and Bampton, and nearby is the farmer's house. Where Withnail hollers: "I'm going to be a star!" ove rlooks Haweswater shores. The spectacular morning view from Crow Crag was filmed between Mardale Banks and Whiteacre Crag.

Sadly, The King Henry pub in Penrith - where the two actors blew Monty's money for Wellington boots on quadruple whiskies - was shot at The Crown in Stony Stratford near Milton Keynes.

. For directions to Withnail locations, visit: www.pages.

zoom.co.uk/peterd/withnail.htm For Withnail-friendly lodging, visit www.mardaleinn.co.uk/ with.htm

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