How to make friends and ditch the Trekkies

SAYING goodbye to people who are so familiar they remember your Kylie phase, your embarrassing middle name and that infamous thirteenth birthday party, can be difficult to do, but also a good one. Making new friends at college is an exciting, trial-and-error experience, and although it might take some time, you will eventually feel comfortable with the people around you.

Most importantly, remember that nobody knows anybody else.

The people chatting in the halls kitchen while you're trying to jam your new wok into a minuscule cupboard have only just met, and are probably hoping you'll stay and introduce yourself. Try not to be too private - go and explore your new surroundings, or if you do stay in your room, wedge the door open so people feel welcome.

Unsurprisingly, a lot of shyness disappears when everyone is herded off to the bar on the first night. If these organised freshers parties are your sort of scene, you'll probably have a brilliant time, spend the 20 Grandma gave you for books on alcopops, and dance the night away with other likeminded souls. However, if they aren't your thing give it a chance, as you will be sure to find someone loitering reluctantly in the doorway cringing at the Abba inside and just waiting to be rescued.

You'll meet people who share your interests through clubs and societies.

Whether it's the Boat Club, Deviant Society or the Christian Union, membership will be open to all and enthusiasm will be high; the people in charge of each society are expert at making new students feel comfortable and included. Don't be afraid to try new things, the point of the first term is finding out what suits you, and what doesn't.

During the social frenzy of the first weeks, you will probably have given your phone number to everyone who's asked for it, welcomed people in to your room at all hours of the night and volunteered to cook three meals a day for those silly folk who can't even slice an onion on their own.

Once the terror of loneliness wears off, however, and you become confident enough to be picky, you may find that you don't really get on with some of the people you've met, after all. If this does happen, politely decline a few unwanted invitations and people will understand and move on.

Once you have identified a few people you really like, put a little effort into getting to know them better. Make sure you spend time together in the day as well as going out in the evening - then you can get to know each other without the pressure of a social situation. Ask about things you come across in bedrooms: pictures of friends and family, musical instruments lying about or interesting books from home.

People are usually glad to tell you what they like, and what they do for fun, and will want to know the same about you.

Cooking can also be a great bonding experience. Most students are not particularly handy in the kitchen, and you can have a great laugh together as you watch your rice flow straight through the colander and down the plug-hole.

Everything will go smoothly if you be yourself and arrive with an open mind.

As most institutions have upwards of 5,000 students, you can be sure there's someone for everyone.

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