Here's the best career tip yet: real men take paternity leave

A CLOSE friend of mine told me that, when she was a baby, her father never pushed her pram. It was not that he did not love her dearly; it was simply that many men in the Glasgow of the 1940s and 1950s had a clear idea of manhood, and pushing prams was not part of it.

Note how, in an older generation, manhood and fatherhood were brought into conflict by the demands of parenting. By the 1990s, when Athena had already made famous that best-selling poster of a young, highly muscled male holding a new baby, cultural norms were shifting a bit. Or, rather, the possibilities of manhood for a younger generation came to include pride in fatherhood through direct association with the child - pram-pushing included.

Stephen Byers, the trade and industry secretary, announced last week his intention to legislate for an allowance of 13 weeks' unpaid leave across five years for those working parents with a child under five. This opens the question of whether men will use the option when the conflict this time is between fatherhood and career.

In America, opponents of paternity leave have an expression derived from the career term "fast track". It is derogatory, and it is "daddy track". Looks as if real men avoid both quiche and paternity leave.

Despite the muscle-and-baby poster, an image promoted across the entire West, there is clear evidence of workplace hostility to paternity leave. Employers are wary of the costs of replacement labour and workers themselves tend to be sceptical about the "commitment" of colleagues who opt for paternity leave.

This is less about the real experience of the problems generated by new fathers taking leave than about the dominant culture of "presenteeism": working late, under-utilising holidays and being competitive. In other words, paternity leave - and maternity leave, for that matter - still have to win ground against established attitudes about the nature of work.

It is still common to hear otherwise sensible people comment on a woman having taken "the pregnancy option" in dealing with a difficult situation at work. Paternity leave is advocated as a family-friendly policy but it faces the profound ambivalence of a nation that prides itself on working long hours.

In persuading employers, Stephen Byers can point to earlier government research that over-estimated the overheads. There are costs attached to this policy but they are less than were supposed. More importantly, he can point out the benefits of promoting paternity leave. American companies found increased loyalty, for example.

The worst-case scenario for an employer would be for the whole 13 weeks of unpaid leave to be taken in short bursts at short notice. That would indeed send up costs and irritate all at work who shared responsibilities with new fathers. But the reality is that unpaid leave signals a right of action without actually encouraging it. Maximum mutual benefits have been gained where companies have jumped forward and paid workers to take paternity leave for shorter periods such as a week or a fortnight. At present, only a few very large multinationals in America have operated this scheme: Microsoft, IBM and Timberland, for example.

In fact, in both Britain and America, when men take time off to be with mother and baby they are likely to use a patchwork of sick days and annual holiday entitlement to protect income. Thirteen weeks without pay is unlikely to be the starting gun for covert holidays or absenteeism.

But what about additional paid paternity leave for, say, a fortnight when a baby is born? Given the recent statistics showing Scotland's population in decline, there might be additional social engineering benefits. No money is better spent than cash invested in the wellbeing of children, but in the Scottish economy of small and medium-sized companies, employers would have to be partnered by government.

Yet whether leave is paid or unpaid, "deserting" the workplace to favour the family is still perceived as a path away from career loyalties and towards "softer" individual interests - the daddy track. Like all problems of group dynamics among men, this can be resolved by the example of the alpha male. Although Timberland offered everyone paid leave, it was the example of the corporate finance head and vice-president that helped make the concept of paternity leave acceptable. Timberland bosses reckon the company now wins in both morale and productivity.

When Tony Blair was being taunted about promoting paternity leave without taking it, he was bested by Paavo Lipponen, the Prime Minister of Finland, who took his full six-day entitlement. It really does matter that top guys demonstrate their acceptance of paternity leave.

Ironically, when men take leave, grapple with the needs of children and observe the demands of motherhood on their partners, the behavioural cliche is vindicated. Men apply work methods to family problems. Maybe this is simply using experience in one area to solve problems in another - or perhaps it allows men a way of endowing work status on family activity. No matter: the American Learning Project has online noticeboards that list parenting tips from men. Some are aggressively consumerist, with advice to buy a particular brand of baby sling because the webbing can accommodate wider male shoulders; others are about creating staggered patterns for mother and father rising and going to work.

The giveaway tip is the one that answers the question to men about taking toddler daughters to public toilets. First assemble a kit to include soap, water, disinfectant and wipes, begins the answer. Then wash the toilet seat thoroughly before beginning to disinfect it No sir, this is not about compensating for social patterns; it's about lifting the child over the bowl. You do need paternity leave, don't you?

Copyright 2001
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