His father's son; jonathanwilson:1970-2002

As a family we were overwhelmed by the hundreds of mass cards and letters of condolence from people who had been touched by Jono. While we offer thanks to all, we would respectfully ask for no one to feel pity or sorrow for our loss. When Jono was born we named him Jonathan - which means "a gift from God" - little did we realise how accurate that name would be. Jono was not a saint - he was just a boy and a young man who regarded the world as his oyster.

As parents we were truly blessed for 31 years, and despite the final five years of our lives being filled with pain, worry and degrees of indignity for Jono, they were exceptionally happy, filled with love and a great deal of laughter. As a family we have always had a wicked sense of humour and this probably sustained us through many harrowing times. Each of us grieved individually and privately for those five years, but at all times our strength was gleaned from Jono. We were always close as a family, but a special bond grew up through him.

It is far more tragic for parents to lose a child from a sudden death; it leaves them with many unsaid things and feelings of regret. Our family has no regrets in that respect. During his final days we all spent precious time with him to share our private thoughts and memories with him. Each of us got a big cuddle; Jono was a man capable of showing great love. They say the measure of the man is in the number and quality of friends he keeps and Jono had many. At his funeral mass we tried to involve as many of them as possible. Six friends carried him into the chapel, six carried him out and a few more laid him to rest.

Jono was an incredibly organised young man. He previously told us that he didn't want a tacky send off, namely a sit-down steak pie dinner. Rather he wanted a party with "champers", his favourite music and a celebration of his life rather than a mourning of his death. Anyone who appeared to be morose was to be ejected on to the pavement. We promised to abide by his wishes and he chose the Cul de Sac bar in Shawlands where he had held various charity nights.

Upon his death we discovered three notebooks, one containing details to settle his affairs, the second for Chris and Madeilene and the third for us, his Mum and Dad. Although Jono conveyed the image of the ultimate Mr Cool he was very self-deprecating. His main worry was that not many would attend his funeral and final bash - how wrong he was. In our notebook were pages of names and phone numbers of friends he wished to be contacted on his demise. He had informed many of his close friends that he did not want them to attend him in his final days but remember him from better times. At the bottom of the two pages was a PS which said: "When you phone, please ask my friends if they know anyone else who would like to come to my bash, tell them it will be great - I'll be there."

We all shared the phone calls last Wednesday morning and found ourselves apologising and consoling each recipient for conveying the sad news. Well, needless to say Jono's bash was a riot. It was heartening to have so many young people approach Susan to express their gratitude and to say that his party was typically Jono. We have so many close friends who have supported us - there are too many to mention. The main ones have featured in Jono's columns, but we must give thanks to a previously unmentioned few.

Dr John Bass is head of the Ayrshire Hospice who first encountered Jono five years ago. His first introduction to our family was being kicked on the leg from my granddaughter Abby. On his next few visits he must have thought our home was akin to One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. But gradually we rounded off this reserved Englishman who quickly became not just Jono's personal physician, but a close family friend. Along with Christopher at the funeral, he gave a heart-felt eulogy full of personal feelings but full of humour - how else could you talk of Jono? Dr Bass regarded Jono as a total enigma, defying all medical diagnosis, and he has learned from him. Jono relied on him and as a family we gained a valued friend.

Jonathan also had a special affinity with Colin, a friend, nurse and care worker at the hospice who called faithfully every Wednesday, and no matter how ill Jono was, he perked up in Colin's presence and was able to confide in him. Willie "The Ritz", previously mentioned in his articles, arranged the music at Jono's funeral to perfection. Father Mackle, whose parish is in Maryhill, first met Jono when he was diagnosed with cancer at the Victoria Infirmary and has remained in constant contact. He made the mass personal and full of feeling; when he spoke of Jono he spoke of someone he knew. Finally, his Gran, who had a great input into his formative years and with whom he always had a close relationship, sat through his bash and treated it like the party Jono had asked for, even though her heart was breaking. She always did what he wanted and on the day she did him proud.

Our lives will never be the same. Susan will never be able to shop in Buchanan Street again without re-living memories of the joyful days she spent with Jonathan, who as you will all be aware, loved shopping. Chris, his younger brother, idolised Jono, for Jono broke down all the barriers and made his passing into adulthood that bit easier. Madeilene: well Mad is simply his image. She adored him. It's hard to contemplate life without him. Abby, who was born two days after Jono's parachute jump, grew up only knowing Jono as being sick. She brought great comfort to him. She is reconciled with the fact that he is no longer sick.

And me, his father; whenever I smell an expensive aftershave - and God knows he had the full set - I turn around expecting to see Jono and I have no doubts I will. As for Pauline, Jonathan's ex- girlfriend, she has the biggest cross to bear; they had a special love destined to be unfulfilled. Alex, her dad, grieved as much as I did.

As for you, his faithful readers, remember Jono's thoughts on life: it is precious; it is not to be wasted; make the most of it and get living. Such was Jono's legacy and we are all truly blessed. So do not cry for us, for Jonathan still livesu

HENRY WILSON If you would like to make a donation in memory of Jonathan, please make your cheque payable to The Ayrshire Hospice Trust and mark it "In Memory of Jonathan", Sunday Herald Magazine, 200 Renfield Street, Glasgow, G2 3PR. Turn to reader tributes, page 15, Seven Days

Copyright 2002
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