DAFT TAFF FAILS TO GET A LAFF

A WELSH vicar was forced to apologise last night after branding the Irish stupid in his parish newsletter by printing a spoof "medical dictionary".

Rev Ian Day shocked his flock with the latest edition of his magazine by including the dictionary which contains a number of sexual terms in its list of 35 alternative medical meanings.

Some of the parishioners of St Mary's in Mold, north wales and St James' in New Brighton, on the Wirral did not see the funny side and branded the list "offensive" and "smutty".

One elderly parishioner said: "I could not believe what I was reading.

"Poking fun at people, be they Irish or any other nationality, is bad enough, but to do so with sexual references is particularly tasteless."

Rev Ian Day, 55, who edits the parish news, said he was not the author of the "Irish Medical Dictionary" and refused to say why he had included it.

But the Church of Wales minister added: "I am sorry if the list has caused any offence - it was certainly not the intention.

"I think it's not a matter of terms of a sexual nature, but of a medical nature.

"Whether they are offensive depends upon the reader and the reader's viewpoint.

"It is not intended to cause offence and I get no buzz if it has caused offence. I am sorry if someone has felt strongly enough to complain - don't let him read the Bible for goodness sake, there's all sorts of things in there."

Rev Day claimed the parish magazine was popular, with a circulation of 350, some of which were sent to members of parishioners' families living abroad, including in America.

The Rev added: "We work very hard at it and try and make it informative. We use it as a method of teaching, as well as providing news and humour.

"The trouble is what some people find humourous others don't. They are all medical terms, for goodness sake.

"I would be interested to hear if people found it unpleasant, but no-one has said a word to me about it."

But Tom Walsh, of nearby St Michael's Irish Centre, branded the content of the magazine as outrageous and offensive.

He said: "Suggesting that somebody is a lesser person through this type of material makes it easier for other people to discriminate against them."

A Church of Wales spokesman said the magazine row was a local matter and that they would not be investigating further.

Taking the Mick

Barium - what doctors do when patients die

Bowel - a letter like AEIOU

Caesarean - neighbourhood in Rome

Dilate - to live longer

Enema - not a friend

Genital - not a Jew

Impotent - distinguished, well-known

Morbid - a higher offer

Rectum - took apart violently

Terminal - getting sick at the airport

Tumour - more than one

Urine - opposite of you're out

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