GET THE GARLIC, INSECT VAMPIRES WILL SOON BY FLYING OUR WAY

That far-off buzzing is the distant sound of what will almost certainly be a run-for-your-lives mosquito season.

Listen. Can you hear them? They're coming. They know where you live. And they want to suck your blood.

Just wondering: If Bloomsday and Hoopfest merged, what would the resulting all-in-one event be called? Bloomsfest? Hoopsday? Festival of 50,000 Fouls? Slice answers: After we asked about unsportsmanlike conduct on Spokane area softball fields, we heard about a catcher in a fast-pitch game who - according to our caller - intentionally yanked his glove out of the way at the last instant, allowing a pitch to strike the umpire and break his thumb. We also heard about a church pastor/coach who wasn't happy with the play of some of the women on his team. So he recruited a pair of strangers from a nearby field, despite the fact that the women they replaced had faithfully showed up for practices, et cetera. And then there was the guy who, in a priceless made-for-a-movie moment, yanked out his false teeth with one hand while making a fist and preparing to start throwing punches with the other. Clearing the air: Holy Family Hospital, Holiday Inn Express, the Spokane Arena, Birkebeiner brewery and restaurant, Crescent Court Mall and the Azteca restaurant have been honored by Project ASSIST the anti-tobacco campaign funded by the National Cancer Institute - for promoting smoke-free environments. From clean to dirty: Sue Quinn had just gotten her 17-month-old grandson, Austin Kautzman, ready for an Easter picture when she turned her back "for a split-second" to attend to his sister. Young Austin, being a true Northwesterner, used that time to pick up grandma's full coffee cup and start drinking. He managed to spill the contents all over the front of his brand-new outfit. Note to the little boy whose mother pointedly did nothing to move her shopping cart so that we might back out Saturday afternoon in the parking lot at Tidyman's near the Lyons cinema: Don't worry, son. Not everyone is like your mother. One perspective on moisturizing/cleansing masks: "Few men like to climb into bed with a partner who's as sticky as a tree frog." - Allure magazine Today's Slice question: What affectation does one encounter most often in the Spokane area?

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