Spin cycle; You can watch the world pass silently behind a sheet of

Some people think the most important part of a cycling holiday is the bicycle. Wrong - it's your bottom. The pain of a sore bahooky after an unprotected first day in the saddle is enough to put most people off mounting a bike again until they collect their pension, let alone consider taking one on a week's holiday. However, padding can change all that.

The joy of a cycling holiday in Scotland, or anywhere for that matter, is getting the scenery, the fresh air and the food (you deserve every calorie in that chocolate mousse) close up. Every day of a cycling holiday will be memorable for the right reasons - every scone in every village tea shop will be your favourite, every pint your best yet and every freewheeling downhill run the most exhilarating since you learned to go without stabilisers. In short, it's fun. It also gets you fit and gives you a travel experience at an absorbable pace. If watching the lochs, mountains and coastline blur past in a frame of glass is your idea of a holiday, fine. If you want to see the light play on the hills all afternoon or race a storm to the next pit-stop or finish each day with some sense of self- achievement, take a bike.

You can start a five-day, 150-mile cycle looking pale, unhealthy and weary of the world and end it feeling like the Bionic Man - better, stronger, faster. But let's start at the beginning, or rather the rear end. Most bikes will get you wherever you want to go but your bottom won't let you sit for breakfast the second day unless you look after it. So transaction numero uno, paid for at the same time as you service your bike, is a pair of padded cycling shorts. This doesn't mean embarrassing crotch-clinging lycra. You can buy baggy, surf-style shorts with a padded liner these days which look, er, kind of normal, as well as the traditional and ludicrous looking chamois- lined racing shorts. You can even buy padded pants to wear under normal trousers and look as if you don't cycle at all. Don't worry, it only feels as if you're wearing a nappy - you'll look fine and you'll be thankful for every padded millimetre.

Now the bike. There's a preponderance of mountain bikes, hybrids, cross trails, and knobbly-tyred nonsense on the roads these days that illicit the same rage in cycling purists as four-wheel drives near an expensive school. They are simply not meant to be, but almost any bike will do and can be adapted for touring.

The inspirational Dervla Murphy cycled from Dunkirk to Delhi on a single gear sit-up-and-beg bike in 1963 and she's still going strong. For touring, the best bike is a tourer - strong frame, big wheels, rack on the back for panniers, mudguards for the rain, enough gears for the hills. Good for shopping in town too. Trails and hybrids can be adapted by adding a rack at the back. Make sure the bike fits you and not the other way round otherwise a few days of cycling might be an uncomfortable or painful experience.

Buy the best pannier bags you can afford. Perhaps you should borrow them for the first trip as they tend to be expensive. Don't be tempted to go with a haversack on your back - sweaty, wrong centre of balance, bad karma, man. Alternatively go for the ultimate and travel with a puncture repair kit and a credit card, buying whatever you need along the way, including a tourer if you started with a trail bike.

As with any other hobby you can go on buying gear forever, but if you stick with cycling it's worth considering a pair of cycling shoes. They have stiffer soles than trainers, but you can still walk in them. Which leads us to the cleats or clips debate. Clips strap your feet to the pedals instantly doubling your pulling power. Cleats are little devices on the soles of your shoes which clip you onto the pedals. Harder to walk in but just as easy to release yourself from. It's a matter of personal preference, really.

The must-have gadget is a cycling computer. They cost about (pounds) 15 and tell you how fast you're going, how far you've gone, average speed, maximum speed and what your VCR is taping for you while you're away. They're more than toys for boys and very handy for working out how far you have to go and how much time you have before the ferry leaves.

Healthwise, you don't need to be super-fit, but that means you shouldn't push yourself too much. Between 20 and 30 miles on the first day is plenty. You might feel stupid taking a helmet, but not as stupid as you will if you come off not wearing one. Gloves stop road shock and tar burn, keep your paws warm and give you an unusual suntan line. Pack some warm clothes and an all-purpose washing liquid to help minimise the amount of socks, T-shirts and shorts you'll need. Oh, did I mention that this is Scotland? Waterproofs and midge cream might be advisable.

At all costs avoid the bonk. That's a health warning but not the kind you think. The bonk will only hit you once and then you will never let it happen again. In a cycling context it's when your body, sitting but pedalling all day, runs out of fuel very suddenly, leaving you engulfed in light-headed bewilderment, possibly nauseated and fit to drop. If it happens you must refuel immediately but it's better to avoid it by eating carbohydrates and snacking on bananas and chocolate while on the move. You will develop a ravenous appetite when you're not on the bike anyway.

Old cyclists say that hills are only in the mind. Good philosophy, but it only holds true at the top of mountains. Hills have to be tackled, even if only for the fun of coming down the other side, but mountains in the mind can be shifted on a bike. On a good day, with the wind on your back, the saddle is a good place to lose your problems and leave the everyday world behind.

The most important thing is that cycling on a cycling holiday is not compulsory. Common sense and cartilages will tell you that you don't have to cycle every day of your trip. Cycle for one - relax for two. Go for three, whatever. Be flexible, build in a spare day for bad weather or aches, and enjoy yourself. You can always sling your bike on a train or on a bus for that matter - your friends will be no less impressed by the seemingly staggering distances you have already covered. You'll come back fit and you'll know yourself and Scotland betteru five cycle routes in Scotland (and one border raid) The national cycle network offers low-traffic trails across the map. It covers more than 1200 miles of Scotland and more routes are being added all the time. There are books and maps in every cycle shop that will take you far and wide. Try Harry Henniker's Scotland - The National Cycle Network, the excellent Cycling Britain in the Lonely Planet series and the Edinburgh Bicycle Co-operative website on www.edinburgh-bicycle.co.uk/routes. Here's a flavour of what Scotland has to offer.

Glasgow to Islay in one day (and only 36 miles) This is one of the best cycling weekends in Scotland. In just one day you can go from Glasgow Central to sipping Bunnahabhain in an island B&B. It requires little effort but an encyclopedic knowledge of the Caledonian MacBrayne ferry timetable. Start early by taking the train to Ardrossan and the short ferry hop to Bute. Warm up by cycling north for seven miles to catch the 11am ferry to Colintraive, on the Cowal peninsula. The next bit is hard - a 20-mile slog across to Portavadie, one big hill that you'll have to push up. Stop at Tighnabruaich for lunch. A ferry from Portavadie takes you to Tarbert, Argyll and milky coffee at the C'Adora cafe (if it's still open). Cycle on another five miles for the ferry to Islay. Have your tea on the boat and a whisky in the bath when you arrive. Return the same way or by cycling across the Kintyre Peninsula for the ferry to North Lochranza on Arran. Cycle the island to Brodick and take the train back to Glasgow.

The Hebrides Whenever the London magazines draw up a list of Britain's top beaches and miss out the west coast of the Hebrides again I whoop at the thought of empty miles of sand and machair.The joy of this route is no traffic, few tourists and the richest and most extraordinary cultural experience you're likely to have in the British Isles. The down side is the wind and the rain but if you start in Barra (train to Oban and then ferry) the predominantly south- westerly winds will push you along. Allow a week at least to make it from Castlebay to the amazing Callanish stones by causeway, inter- island ferry and empty roads. You can shorten the route by heading from North Uist back to railways via Skye. Cycling through Skye on busy roads to Armadale is no fun, though.

The Applecross peninsula Scotland's ultimate cycling challenge. They really should hand out "king of the mountain" polka-dot cycling tops to anyone who completes the climb over Bealach na Ba to Applecross.Train from Inverness to Achnasheen, base in Torridon. One in five gradient, awe-inspiring climb and brilliant views.

100 miles in Perthshire in one day I haven't done this one, but plenty others have with the help of the Edinburgh Bicycle Co- operative, suppliers of iron steeds to the cycling gentry. The route is from Killin to Blairgowrie via Glen Lochay, Glen Lyon and Loch Tummel on beautiful, quiet roads all the way and Edinburgh Bicycle lay on transit for you and your bike from Edinburgh to Killin in the morning, and from Blairgowrie back to Edinburgh in the evening.

The Isle of Mull Cycle the whole island and Iona. Little traffic except coaches on the way to Iona, but you can time your departure to miss them. A great circuit starts at the Corran ferry and crosses Morvern into Ardnamurchan to take a wee ferry to Tobermory. There's a great B&B there run by descendant of Sir Francis Drake (no kidding) and you can cycle (over a big, big hill) to Calgary Bay. You can shorten this route by turning south at Strontian to Lochaline. That involves another big hill. By big I mean out of the saddle, knees grinding, sweat dripping hill. Give it five days - the whole route, not the hill.

The Northumbrian raid There is an established route from Melrose to the Holy Isle, but it's worth continuing down the wonderful Northumbrian coastline until the Tyne stops you at Newcastle. Take in the beer, the art, and Hadrian's wall - another good coast-to-coast route.

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